Making the Decision to Send Dad to the Nursing Home

A Gentle Hand prints in two different sizes now available here.

Last week we put Dad in the nursing home. It was a difficult choice but one long over due. Lots of people I know are dealing with this very issue as our parents age.



Dad has been in poor health now for 6 or 7 years. My step brother and I moved in about the same time to care for our parents and my grandmother as well.



It has been difficult. For a long time now I have thought it was a mistake to keep him at home. He was isolated and unhappy. He considered us his jailers mainly because we kept him from driving. He even went as far as secretly getting a lawyer to try to escape.



My step mother is his guardian so my attempts to change the situation in the past met with failure. This time however was different. Part of the change was due to her heart attack in the fall and other health issues she faced last year. The rest of it was Dad’s mini strokes and lessening mobility.



My step brother and I made a plan to force the issue. We spoke to the rest of the family and made sure we had their support. We did. My sis joined us as we did what we called “our intervention”. She saw we were not going to take no for an answer and her son’s threat to move out was probably not even necessary.



It seemed I would have been OK with this choice and I anticipated the feeling of a weight lifting off me but that is not what happened. I just got a pit of sadness in my gut. It freaked me out and made me doubt my decision. I took Tonka out on the river trail and we took a nice long hike to clear my head. When I returned I looked at my feelings and decided it was grief. Once recognized it passed quickly.



Dad said he felt like we had dropped him off at the pound the first day, but that has also passed quickly. Most of the patients and employees are women so he is in his element. He seems very happy now and he is getting 24 hour skilled nursing that he needs.



The stress level here has dropped considerably. He being just a few miles away makes it possible for us to see him at least once a day and take his dog to see him too.



See that wasn’t so hard…..

( Yes it was.)

Sunset Girls

Sunset Girls

16"x28" on wood panel

framed

$425

shipping $25

I spent a couple of years going to the nursing home every evening at dinner time. My grandmother was in her nineties. I would sit at the dinner table with her and several other women about her age. All the ladies had varying degrees of dementia and hearing problems. It made for lively and interesting dinner conversation.

After dinner was over and everyone got ready to head back to their rooms the conversation daily would turn to the location of their rooms. All my ladies lived in the west hall and at that time of day the sun would be setting. I would tell them they are the sunset girls and all the had to do was follow the sunset home.

This painting was inspired by the sunset girls. This painting goes beyond the physical. It's of the spirit of this delightful group of women. I could see them as the vibrant spirits they were and the equally vibrant women they were in their younger years.

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